Helping others by saying nothing

My father and mother still carries heavily on this burden called my brother's death.  But more and more I've seen my father really suffer from sadness, which really is normal and to be expected, and I feel that my hands are so chopped off.

I have this awful habit of telling people that I can't help them, or don't know what to do to make their situation better when I feel overwhelmed by their situation.  This is one of those situations.  And I had to catch myself before saying that to my dad, because how would that really make his day any better?

Sooooo, thinking this over, I realised that my best response to his sadness is not in my words (or lack thereof), but rather in my actions.  A hug, holding his hand, and if I feel the over-powering need to say something, to just say I'm sorry that he is sad.  Because the truth of the matter is, this is a loss a parent NEVER gets over - EVER. 

If I think how much I still grieve my lost baby, even though I never got to hold him/her, how much worse is my father's pain.  He who held this son, played with him, saw him grow up, become a man, get married, and accomplish so much in his short life time.  Surely, that pain is so much more intense, the memories ever-present.

Yes, I struggle with my brother's death, but at times life is normal, and I can get on with it.  But then again, I don't have to live in the house where my brother was born into, grew up in, never left, and was burried out of.  I don't have to constantly be reminded of him at every corner I turn, or every detail I see in the house.  This is what my father has to deal with, every day of his life.

It saddens me to see my dad like this, but really, I can only hug him.  That's all I have...and that's all I should give.

How do YOU help someone when they are in pain / emotional turmoil / overwhelmed?

May the grace of GOD surround you every day of your life!

Me =D

Excitement in Paradise

Please note - it has taken me a whole TWO MONTHS to finally upload this post - LOL.

Hello Hello!!! I'm so terribly excited because of certain developments in my valley (aka my tiny abode).

1. I'm getting creative with my cooking - figuring out what to do with leftovers like broccoli.
2. I got 2 POUNDS of fresh strawberries for $2.80!!!! (4 punnets for R20 in total) - I am freezing them all to have stash for strawberry and paw-paw smoothies during the summer time.
   
3. My husband bought me a Kelvinator Mini-oven!
4. I'm cooking and baking in the very nice Kelvinator Mini-oven! (This is brown mushrooms and sliced zuchinni with shredded spinach, vegetable stock powder and lovely white cheddar sprinkled over it and baked until crispy!)
   
5. My husband is very happy with the results ;-)

These are the days of a happy housewife!
Keep well and hope your week is fantastic!

I am happy because...

1. God's grace and mercy carries me where no-one else can!
2. I am in a loving marriage with a seriously understanding husband (=
3. My family just totally rocks!
4. I have learned to look after myself better, making healthier food choices and lifestyle changes.
5. I completed my first ever 35 km (21.7 miles) Mountain Bike Race (Nissan X-Trail Series - Diamond Rush, Cullinan) and will hopefully be doing these distances more regularly!
6. I have lost 5 kg (11 lbs) since beginning September 2011!
7. I get to cook meals everyday for my husband and I (i.e. we have food in our cupboards and fridge), whilst there are people living around me who are never sure where their next meal is coming from.
8. Jesus Christ is my HERO!
9. My friends are kind, loving, and caring people :-D
10. I am able to walk, talk, cycle, swim, sew - all because GOD has gien my the ability to do these things.
11. Luke 23:40-43 & John 3:16!!!!!

Just thought I'd pop these on here :-)
Have a superb rest-of-the-week!

The incompetence of the GSSC

I am up to my neck with frustration. Last year August the Dept of Education started illegally deducting money from my salary. I was able to stop them after two months, but I'm yet to see that R2200 that they deducted before I could stop them.

This case has been pending for a YEAR now, and I am at the point of no return. How do you fight a bureaucracy that is unwilling to change or improve? How do I get back money which was illegally taken from me? I'm so agitated by this whole situation - because along the road there are so many people who are trying to help me get back my money, but their hands are tied by faceless, nameless upper-level management CSO's who could not be bothered to sign a piece of paper to give me my money back?

Will I now do what the rest of South Africa does when calling for justice on a matter? Toi-toi outside the GSSC building? Camp out in their foyer? How do I demand that my money be given back to me, in CASH, not deposited into my account which will cause it to be taxed AGAIN (after my salary was already taxed in any case last year when these deductions were made)? I am SO SICK of the incompetence of the GSSC!

GSSC, you are the reason for people leaving the public sector! When you screw up this badly, you make people very angry, give them a reason to not trust Government in general. I don't want to wait until my pension for this money to be paid in, because I'm sure you will not pay the interest accumulated on that amount to me as well....

UGH!!!! Okay, end of this rant and rave, because it won't help in any case. I've seen how useless upper-level management at the GSSC is. Just know, upper-level management of GSSC, you make the lives of your lower-level workers difficult, since the messenger gets killed time and time again over YOUR mess-ups!

Insulin Resistance and other health problems

Recently I went to a GP who seems to focus more on family planning and diet. He immediately did a gazillion blood tests (actually more like 15 of them). The reason I went to him? I'm struggling to fall pregnant.

Two of my friends have told me they were struggling to fall pregnant, then got diagnosed with insulin intolerance and once placed on medication for that, fell pregnant. Well, who could've guessed? It turns out I'm insulin resistant. But that's not all (this sounds like a Verimark advertisement) - I also have high cholesterol (family related) and high uric acid levels (which explains my severe joint pain during the past Winter. My shoulders were especially affected this Winter.).

At first I thought, okay, just change your diet as the GP told you, and drink your prescribed medication, and then you're all set! Okay, I was WRONG. The more I read about this, the more I'm learning about the type of diet I have to follow (heck, there is SOOOO much to consider). And my lack of exercise - NOT GOOD!

So, here is the bits I have made sense of:

• I must check what I eat - not all vegetables are equal in health-status.
• Although protein is recommended for my diet, red meat is not a good idea with regards to the high uric acid levels.
• Low fat milk can actually INCREASE your blood glucose levels, but then full cream is not necessarily good for high cholesterol levels.

I'm feeling very over-whelmed at this moment in time, having to process (and then digest) all this information! But, I know that in the end this will make me a happier (potentially less-moody) person who might actually fall pregnant, if GOD wills.

Hopefully I'll learn more and more each day, and I'll try my best to share ideas on my blog to inspire others also recently diagnosed with all these conditions.