Thursday, April 15, 2010

Remarkable Child

Remarkable Child…

I discovered your presence early one Monday…
Confirmed it late the next Tuesday afternoon
I started dreaming up our future,
Everything was so perfect…
And for four solid weeks
I carried you in my heart.

I remember seeing your heart
Beating strongly on the screen
You were ever so tiny at 7 weeks
But I was already in love!

Then at 9 ½ weeks,
Your heart came to a standstill.
And what should have been a joyous day
Turned into a day of despair…

I watched your lifeless little body
On the screen that day
Your arms perfectly formed,
Stretched out for a hug…
But where once I saw a heartbeat,
There was only white noise…

My heart skipped a beat
And the next moment I knew
That God took you to Heaven
Because your life here would be cruel.

I still carried you inside of me
To bid my farewell
And saw you on Tuesday
Already far away…
You were curled up and peaceful
With no care in the world
And I realised this was goodbye
For this lifetime at least…

I miss your presence,
Even though I never felt you move
I miss dreaming big dreams
About what we would one day do…
My heart breaks each day
When I realise anew
That this is one more day
Without knowing you…

And today I had to let go
In a way I never wanted to
But I know that one day I’ll meet you
When I go up to Heaven.
And we’ll be together once more…

~ Ronél Swart ~
~ 15 April 2010 ~

Today my husband and I experienced losing our (first) child. It hurts so much that I can't even begin to explain it. BUT "We know that in all things God works for good with those who love Him, those whom He has called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28 Good News Translation). It is for this reason that we will mourn our loss but cannot ever blame God or ourselves for it.

It is only through our faith in Jesus Christ, our LORD and Saviour that we remain standing. He's love has shone through in everyone who've supported us in the past week and a half.

So, we bid our sweet child farewell. We won't forget you, for you've made an extraordinary impact on our marriage in the short while that we carried you. For that we cannot thank you (and especially our Father in Heaven) enough!